Article contributed by Leigh Ann Jewett.
A conversation with my five year old daughter at the playground:
Me: Stay on the middle level.
Charlie: Why can't I go all the way to the top?
Me: I just want to be on the safe side.
Charlie: Well, I want to be on the dangerous side.
I have super human worrying abilities.
I'm not the type of person who takes a lot of risks. I have an almost super-human ability to imagine every possible thing that could go wrong in any situation. Thrill seeking is a mystery to me. Getting on and off the expressway is as big of a rush as I'm really looking for. As fun as it is having a head full of worst-case scenarios, I prayed that this quality would not be passed down to my children. I prayed they would be more like their father, who dreams of seeing every beautiful thing this world has to offer and is generally of the mind that all things in all cases will work out well in the end.
When we found out we were having a girl, I decided to name her after my grandmother, Charlsie Jacqueline Sergent. She went by Jackie. She was a hilarious and feisty southern woman. You never had to guess what she was thinking. She made her own rules. Figuratively in in life, and literally in card games. Jackie could tell you where to get off, and often did, but she also spoke unashamedly about the love of Christ and the difference it had made in her life. At her funeral, the pastor called her a hoot and a pistol.
Was she ever, and I prayed my daughter would be just like her.
My kid is proof of God's sense of humor.
We are made in God's image, so I imagine He has a sense of humor. I also imagine He was laughing when He answered my prayers.
I now am a nervously cautious mom raising a hilarious and feisty five year old, who has an adventurous spirit and optimistic bravery. Ask me how many gray hairs I have.
This is a perfect picture of her. Arms open, soaking in every experience, hungry for the next one. It fills my heart with joy and terror all at once.
I want to allow her to be who she is. My goal everyday is to express enough concern to make her wise without tossing water on her fiery spirit. To keep my nervous nature in check and celebrate when she conquers something new. To encourage her adventures.
I wish Jackie could have met her.
Our house is full of imaginary friends, experiments, singing, drama, dress up, climbing, jumping, and questions. Oh the questions. For as much as I'm trying to teach her, I'm also learning a new way to look at things. She wants to ride an elephant. To swim under a waterfall. Sing on a stage. Sit on a cloud. She wants to go fast, she wants to do it herself. She wants to know everything and everyone.
Will I ever stop worrying? I'm guessing no. Its all part of this parenting thing, right? When I'm scared about the girls, thinking something might happen or they might not be safe, my husband will say "Loving someone so much is a big risk." He's right. I have to let go and trust, so I can love and enjoy who this little person is every day. It is a big risk, but one I'm will to take.
Can anyone else relate?
Originally Published 9/17/2015