Article by Contributing Writer, Leigh Ann Jewett

A Woman Who Is About To Be Crying and Screaming Like a Crazy Person

I should start by saying that I have an irrational, but very real, fear of anything that flies. Bugs, birds, a piece of cotton floating in the wind.  When I was single, if a bee got in my house I would simply close the door to whatever room it was in and start my new life - minus that room. If it was a really important room, like the bathroom, I would go stay with my folks for the next couple of days. I once threatened to punch my friend in the face because she was in my way when I was trying to escape a ladybug. Just this week I threw a banana at a bee to distract it while I got into my car. Goodbye, breakfast.

The details of my phobia are to be used to set the stage for the truly terrifying tale that follows.

While visiting a friend in Houston, my family took a day trip to Galveston so my daughters could see the ocean for the first time. They are 5 and 11 months. Everything was going great, fun in the sun and all that. Look how happy we are.

There's me, smiling like someone who doesn't know she’s about to be crying and screaming like a crazy person.

A Lesson In Defending One’s Self From Birds

After playing in the water, we all took a seat on the beach. The girls were getting hungry, so my friend got out some veggie straws for them to snack on. I felt so relaxed, breathing in the ocean air, looking out over the horizon thinking about what a big world this is. That's when everything went dark. Literally and figuratively. I thought a cloud was passing over us, but when I looked up I saw them. At least 5,000 (or 30) seagulls were descending upon us. I immediately started screaming. Well, trying to. At first it was like those nightmares where you are screaming but no sound comes out. But I found my voice eventually, and soon my friend and all our daughters were screaming too. My husband Ben approached us slowly, and in an irritatingly steady voice said, “Babe, it's OK. You have to calm down.”

“HELP US!” I yelled over and over. Tears were pouring out of my eyes. He closed the veggie straws and again spoke in a soft and steady voice, “You have to calm down. The girls are taking their cue from you.”

As I pulled my shirt back down (pulling your shirt up over your head is Bird Defense 101), I looked around and locked eyes with my 5 year old, Charlie. The terror fog was lifting, and I remembered catching a glimpse of her before I retreated into my shirt tent. She was staring up at the birds with amazement, she was smiling. Now she stared at me, not quite crying. Uneasy. Searching my face for an answer. How do we feel about this, Mom? I smiled and waved her over to me. ‘Those birds really scared me, isn't that silly? Sometimes even grown ups get scared of silly things.’ She laughed and went on her merry way, being 5 and easily distracted. For me though, it was a moment I will never forget. Ben's words had a major impact, beyond that moment, on the parent I want to be.

“The girls are taking their cue from you.”

The man has a way of speaking God‘s truth into my life when I least expect it, and I love him for it. I‘ve been following Christ for most of my life, and I tried to be as salt-and-lighty as I could when out and about. But then I could go home and relax for a minute. Kids keep you accountable like none other because they are literally ALWAYS watching you. So when I want to dissolve into worry, or make a snarky joke at someone's expense, or just be the selfish, lazy, thoughtless person this world encourages me to be - I hear that soft and steady voice. You have to be brave. You have to be kind. You have to be selfless, attentive and caring. The girls are taking their cue from you.

Thank you God, for trusting me with these little eyes. They call me into being my best self.

What about you? What kinds of parenting moments have been scary for you and what tips do you have for making peace with your fears? We're all learning from each other, so please share your stories in the comments below!

Originally Published 7/25/2015