The Important Things We Say To Our Kids (Over Pancakes)

Dec 8, 2015 6:48:05 AM / by Leigh Ann Jewett

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(Article contributed by Leigh Ann Jewett. Read more about our writers here.)

Last Saturday I was making breakfast for my family. Pancakes. We've been trying to eat healthier so they were almond meal pancakes. I only mention that because what is the use of eating healthy if you don't brag about it on the Internet?

While I was cooking, my five-year-old was hanging around the kitchen holding two toy dogs, chit-chatting away. To be clear, I love listening to her talk. I love her stories and ideas and concerns. She's hilarious, I see it and I dig it. But if you've raised kids or are in the process of raising kids, you know - it's relentless. Her talking is an unstoppable force. I sometimes hear her talking to herself hours after I have put her to bed. So I do tune her out for a few minutes here and there for my own sanity, and this was one of those times. (I throw out a "uh huh" or a "I see" every now and then. "You don't say?" works too.) As I was mixing and flipping, her little voice was white noise behind my own thoughts.

How many more days do I think I can stretch things out before I actually have to go to the grocery store? Is it weird that Lucy isn't walking yet? Wait, when did I last cut Charlie's nails? Is she biting them? I wonder how these pancakes would taste with Nutella? That defeats the purpose, I guess.

Then something she said brought me back into focus.

Charlie: Baby Puppy is more important than Little Dog.
Me: What did you say?
Charlie: Baby Puppy is more important than Little Dog.
Me: Why do you say that?
Charlie: Well, Baby Puppy is smaller and she can't do anything and needs a lot of help. She needs the most hugs and kisses, too.

Ah, and I thought we were doing so well. Just when I started congratulating myself on how awesome we have done transitioning from one kid to two, my oldest uses toy dogs to present a commentary about how babies are more important than kids in our family.

Some people like to share photos where their kids look attractive. I like the ones that make me laugh. I call this one Blinky and Tommy Boy. I'm sure they will thank me in the future when they Google themselves.

I have never thought of myself as exceedingly maternal, so from the time I found out I was pregnant I have many times requested, "God, help me be the parent I need to be right now." One of the ways I believe that prayer has been answered is that God continually reminds me of the value of slowing down. Its easy for me to be in a hurry. I love sleeping until the last possible minute. I'm anxious, so I feel compelled to take care of some things immediately or I can't relax. I get hyper focused and irritated at any interruption. With my girls though, God is constantly reminding me to not rush and to listen. Jesus was never in a hurry. He didn't cut a sermon short to beat traffic. He was deliberate and took His time.

I'm learning not to care if I lose my spot in line, or if I miss the previews, or the toast gets burned, or I miss a call, or I'm late (ask my boss). These are small things but its easy to get distracted by them and miss the bigger things that are happening. Like when my kid wants to talk about why God didn't create mermaids and I just want to go to bed. But I listen and answer her questions and it turns into a conversation about how God is powerful and made the world and everything in it, and He has reasons for everything He does and everything He doesn't do. Eternal things.

So sensing a deeper meaning in Charlie's little puppy drama, I turned off the burner and knelt down in front of her. Breakfast could wait. I explained that Little Dog is absolutely as important as Baby Puppy. Its true Baby Puppy needs a lot of things, but Little Dog was a puppy once and needed all those things too. Getting smarter and stronger and doing things on your own does not make you less important and it certainly does not decrease the amount of hugs and kisses you should get. Little Dog and Baby Puppy both still need LOTS of hugs and kisses. Then both dogs and Charlie got lots of hugs and kisses. I like steering any conversation I can toward hugs and kisses. I'm storing them up in my mind to get me through the tween years.

Originally Published 12/8/2015

Topics: Parenting

Leigh Ann Jewett

Written by Leigh Ann Jewett

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